Here is a snipet of the Sun-Times article which featured the RGAP. -Enjoy!

Lifestyles Archive

Chat room

February 20, 2006

BY CHERYL V. JACKSON Staff Reporter

It's Friday night and Ebony McGee's relationship chat is in full swing. About 70 people balance plates of jambalaya, chicken Creole and peach cobbler at the South Side Lagniappe restaurant, as McGee waves a basket of questions on folded pieces of paper. She encourages each attendee to draw, read and answer a question.

The questions aren't new to anyone who has ever struggled with matters of the heart. "Are men capable of fidelity?" on this night is met with "We try!" before the room breaks out in laughter.

McGee's Relationship GAP group is one of several ongoing chat programs that bring in folks to talk about romantic relationships, to help men and women understand one another. Want to know what a guy wants from a woman? Why a woman dates married men? How your dating life compares with those of women similar to you? A chat can help.

CHAT TIPS

Be confident: "You don't have to go in and project anger or defensiveness," says psychologist Brenda Wade. "Really go there with a sense of love and confidence and to have done some work on yourself... If you walk into the room and you're radiating self-love, you're irresistible."

Speak up: Someone might like what you have to say, and find you to tell you so.

Don't front: When expressing your opinions, don't say what you think guys want to hear. It'll only attract them to someone you're not.

Take advantage of intermissions to mingle: Or use the time after the chat to chat a man up. Invite him to a coffee or dessert.

Keep at it: If things don't work out with one guy, try again with the next one.

Try listening: Things don't work out with fellas No. 2 or No. 3 either? You sure you're paying attention to what others are saying during the chat?

Beware: Remember, marrieds attend chats, too, sometimes under the guise of being unattached. One guy came to every chat-related event coordinator Kimberly Williams held. He dated women within the group for more than a year before being outed by one of Williams' friends. Turns out he was a newlywed, with two kids. "He was attractive and the women were really liking him," Williams said. "He never said he was single. But he never said he was married either."

Cheryl V. Jackson